why are brains?

Me last night: Okay, it’s 10pm. I have to get up at 5am. Time for bed.

My brain at midnight: Just waking you up so you can look at the clock and confirm you have not overslept.

Me: Thanks, bae.

My brain at 2am: Just waking you up so you can look at the clock again. UwU

Me: I … guess I’ll pee? I think I’m good to go back to sleep until my alarm goes off.

My brain at 2:15: Hey buddy.

Me: Dude, stop.

My brain at 2:30: :)

Me: Why can’t I block you? Or at least snooze you for a few hours?

My brain at 3am: It’s too hot!

My brain at 3:05am: It’s too cold!

My brain at 3:10am: It’s too hot!

My brain at 4am: OH FUCK YOU OVERSLEPT JK LOL.

My alarm at 5am: YO BUDDY YOU HAVE TO DO PRESS IN HALF AN HOUR GET UP AND MAKE THE COFFEE.

My brain: NoOoOooooo I dOnT WaNnA gEt uP!

Me: Yeah, if I had been awake all fucking night for no good reason, I wouldn’t want to get up, either, dickweed.